Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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