you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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