so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
