She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
