I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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