I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My hand turned me down
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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