I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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