Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
