thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
