I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize