Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
