dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
