I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
