does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Be still, my beating vagina.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Damn victory sex feels great
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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