Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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