Please, let me fuck your mom
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
