Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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