Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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