Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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