it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
