Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
