1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
