This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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