we're blogging at a bar
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
