Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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