Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
