you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
