I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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