just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
