I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
