i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
