Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i love accidental penises.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
