So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
