so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
