Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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