he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
