carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
