I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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