hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
A bitchslap is in order.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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