Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
