walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
