there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
