i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
