are you so shy because you have an std?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
