It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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