the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
