new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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