I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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