Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
