i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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