Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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