I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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