the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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